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Monday, 06 August 2012 20:48

Mailbag Monday: To Thine Own Self Be True

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To Thine Own Self Be True

While watching the Runaway Bride today, a particular part caught my attention. Maggie, played by Juila Roberts was asked by Ike, played by Richard Gere, “What kind of eggs did she like?” She responded with the scrabbled eggs with dill, just like her fiance’. However, the issue was that Maggie never really knew what kind of eggs SHE really liked. She just adapted the taste of whatever her fiance’s was, it was the same with fiance number 1,2,3 and 4. The movie continues on to end with her realizing who she was as a woman and then marrying Ike.

Now that you are all hungry, I know you may be wondering what my point is? Well, the movie began to make me wonder about the consistent breakups in committed relationships, especially marriages. Myles Monroe once said “In order for someone to be successful at the union of marriage, they need to already be whole.” The statement rang in my head several times, could it be that we can’t stay committed to someone, because we haven’t even committed to ourselves? Often times in relationships we connect to other person and unconsciously expect them to define us. There is a constant need from women especially to control the direction. “Where is this going?” or “What is my title?” These questions often leave men running in the wind.

Now, please do not misunderstand what I am saying. I support a women wanting to know where a relationship is going or if she is wasting her time. However, if we are very truthful with ourselves, if you have to ask the direction of the relationship, you already know the answer. Shakspere wrote “To Thine Own Self Be True” But how can a man or woman do this without taking time out to be with just one’s self.

Here’s the Real Deal Ladies and Gents: Being Single is NOT a curse, it is actually the prerequisite to any long-term committed relationship and/or marriage. If you can’t pass the “Singles” course, then your likely not to ace the “Marriage” Final, then your bound to repeat the course again. During your single life, this is a time to know who you are as a person. Define yourself, pursue your hopes and dreams. Heck, even know what kind of eggs you like. Being single writes the book on being you. So when you do get ready to jump the broom, you will have a blueprint to give to your mate on how to navigate you. So for all my single people out there take some time out from serial relationships. Stop jumping from one committed relationship to another. Stop, smell the roses, love you, learn you, be you, and then you’ll be ready to give you to someone else. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments, because, hey, it’s just MY perspective.

Love and Blessings,

AJ

AJ Williams's is the FRONTPAGE Detroit Web Editor and Resident Love Guru. Submit your questions, comments or stories about love, sex and relationships to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Your question may be used and published in an upcoming Mailbag Monday.

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